What a Thorn...

Yesterday I wrote a post with this same title. I deleted it. It was contrived and forced and not entirely honest. I don't want to write just to fit a format or to spin a story. If I truly want to glorify God, I have to be honest in my faults and flaws.

When I started thinking about the post I had wanted to write yesterday, the word thorns kept popping in my head. You know those pesky little things on beautiful flowers... the ones that make you yelp when your finger finds them!

In my first post I mentioned that I had major surgery. One of the side effects from said surgery is that whenever it rains I get migraines. They have prescribed me medications to help, but both the storm and the headache were severe. So severe my lips were numbing and my hand was clenching. I was home alone and my medication wasn't helping. At some point, I briefly started crying in pain and frustration. I was a mess. I didn't ask for any of this and it was all out of my control.

Then, in the midst my despair, I heard this still small voice remind me that his power was made perfect in my weakness.

"Therefore, in order to keep me from becoming conceited, I was given a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. ⁸ Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. ⁹ But he said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' ” - 2 Corinthians 12:7-9

My physical battle was taking up uninvited space in my mind. His grace would get me through. That's not to say that I instantly switched into spiritual mode and instantly felt better. It took me repeating this verse a few times for peace to return. The physical pain was still there. But the overwhelmed feeling had eased. 

I hope the next time it rains, that I will remember this verse. That I won't freak out and get upset. But if I'm honest, I'll say I'm human and the odds are this won't be the last time I have this conversation with God. Facts are, my surgery was something that saved my life, but the side effects have been a thorn in my side. I have to choose to accept that his power will cover my weakness.

The deeper colored flowers, I believe, are primrose. I was picking the sweet peas and saw them. I cut them off and was holding them in my hand. That's when I noticed the thorns. They pricked my hand. The thorns caused momentary pain, but they brought beauty in my room for more than a week.